Only Because I Love You
by CapriceTheAvenger
Summary: He only did it because he loved her, and she endured, only because she loved him. Dark One-Shot Angela/Shawn Rated T for Violence and Swearing.


Okay, this is my first BMW fanfiction, and it will be OOC due to the plot. It will be a dark one-shot. This is rated T for Violence and swearing. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own BMW or any of the characters.

* * *

Nobody could know, that's why nobody knew. Nobody knew how she got the bruises or the black eye, the swollen lips and the occasional broken bones. Or the broken heart.

But she didn't speak a word, didn't tell a soul, only because she loved him. She endured raging pain and endless fire from every punch and every kick he sent her way, only because she loved him.

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

Angela stood in front of the bathroom mirror nursing another swollen lip from her loving husband, Shawn Hunter.

-------------

She'd come back from a night out with Topanga Matthews to find an angry Shawn waiting for her on the couch with a bottle of wine and two plates of food sitting idly beside a burned out candle.

He'd stood up; the jaw muscles in his face tensing. Angela, already knowing what was to come, took a step back, flattening her back against the door with one hand on the knob behind her. "Where were you?" He kept his voice neutral and his lips in a tight line.

"I was- I was out with Topanga. I left a note." She pointed a trembling finger at the piece of notebook paper stuck between a magnet and the icebox door. Her heart pumped up a notch when Shawn's frown only increased; his icy blue eye twitched only the slightest.

He ran a hand through his brown hair and narrowed his eyes. "You left a note," he repeated. Angela nodded her head, her eyes traveling down to her shoes refusing to meet those cold crystals.

"I-I'm sorry Shawn, I didn't know you did all this, I swear." Angela raised her hands up in defense as her husband took quick steps towards her. Before he could get any closer she turned quickly and flung open the door, preparing to run out, but Shawn wouldn't let that happen. His once comforting hand grabbed her forearm, roughly yanking her back in and slamming the door with his other.

"Shawn, please!" She cried, but he disregarded her plea and landed a backhanded blow across her face, causing her to fall to the floor with her other arm still clutched in his hand.

Shawn kneeled down in front of her and tangled his hand in Angela's hair, snatching her face closer to his. "Angela, why do you keep doing this? I did all of this for you, ALL OF THIS!" He yelled making her jump. "I-I had the candles, the fancy dinner, the wine, and you weren't even here."

She could hear the crack in his voice as he spoke and suddenly, a wave of guilt washed over her. "I'm so sorry, Shawn, I didn-,"

"No Angela, you're always trying to leave me, and I don't want you to go. I don't want you to leave." Shawn's voice was almost childlike as he stared straight into Angela's soul, his eyes seeing everything. "You're not leaving me. Ever."

_Ever_. The word echoed around in her head like a song on repeat, turning down every thought that she'd had about leaving Shawn. Her heart was locked in his steel, caged box.

-------------

Angela opened the cabinet next to the mirror, placed over the toilet, and pushed aside medicine bottles and care products, reaching for the prescription tablets in the back corner.

Lithium.

She shook out two tablets and threw them into her mouth, throwing back her head and swallowing, before closing the cabinet. She was afraid to look into the mirror, to see what she had become.

She gave a start when she turned around to see Shawn standing in the doorway, eyes red and face blotchy with tears. He'd always been a sensitive man, and whenever he'd beat Angela, he would always cry afterward. It was a cycle that never ended, a bad habit.

Shawn stepped forward and cradled her face in his hands before kissing her softly on the lips. "I…I love you, Angela." He whispered. "Just don't…It always scares me when you're gone, and-and I don't mean to hurt you." Shawn sniffed and wiped a tear with his thumb that trailed its way down Angela's brown cheek.

His eyes dropped down to her lips, observing the damage that he'd done. An unrecognizable emotion flashed through his eyes before he looked back into her brown ones. Angela had heard all of this before, because he'd only said it a day ago when she was covered head to toe in bruises that still remained at the moment.

"Shawn, you have to stop, I cannot continue to be with you if you keep hurting me." She said, just a tiny sliver of hope that maybe he would stop abusing her.

"I know, Angela, I know…I just…you're so beautiful and kind and loving, and I'm always afraid that someone's going to come and take you away from me. I can't live my life without you in it." His grip on her face got a little tighter as he spoke, making Angela squeeze her eyes shut in an attempt to keep from crying.

Shawn kissed her one last time on the forehead before backing up and walking away.

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

Angela woke up with a pebble-sized lip and an empty space beside her. The imprint from Shawn's body was still noticeable in the white sheets, so he must not have gone too long ago. Her question was answered a few minutes later when a shirtless Shawn stepped into the room, running a hand through his unruly, wet hair.

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her. "Good morning, sleeping beauty."

Angela hated that. She hated how the next morning, he'd act like nothing had happened the day before, but it was impossible for her to forget every injury he inflicted upon her. She frowned and sat up rubbing the sore spot on her arm where he grabbed it too rough last night.

"What's wrong with your arm?" Shawn said, rubbing a soft finger against her skin, the same hand he always used to cause her pain.

Angela shrunk away from him the slightest bit, but didn't miss the disapproval that crossed his face. "Nothing." No need in making him upset. He already knew what was wrong with it, but he liked to forget, to think that it wasn't him that did this to her. She looked down, finally noticing the bag of ice in his hand that he must've gotten after he got out of the shower.

Shawn looked down at the ice bag as well. "Oh, yeah. Here." He sat down next to her and placed the ice to her tender lip, gingerly moving it around. His eyes never left hers, afraid to look down at his mistake, afraid to own up to them. Shawn was afraid to see what he had become.

"Cory and Topanga invited us to dinner with them tonight, are up to it?" Shawn asked, still refusing to look down at her bruise as he continued to lather her swollen lip in melting ice.

Angela nodded, jumping at the idea of being outside of the house, in public, where Shawn couldn't lay a hand on her. "Yes, that's fine."

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

Night couldn't come fast enough, and Angela was soon in the mirror applying make-up and thinking of an excuse for the bruised lip she'd acquired. Shawn shaved in the other sink next to hers, occasionally glancing over at her from the side of his eyes, but not saying a word.

As soon as she was done, Angela headed for the closet, picking out a decent wardrobe for the nights festivities. She chose a spaghetti strapped, knee-length black dress and black kitten heel pumps to match.

Shawn was waiting for Angela at the door with the car keys in hand, but as soon as he saw her, all nonchalance faded, replaced by a cold demeanor. "Go change, now."

Angela frowned, confused, and glanced down at her outfit. "Why, don't you like it?" She asked nervously shifting, her feet suddenly starting to hurt in the heels.

"No, I don't want people seeing you like that." He said, one foot taking a short step forward. "Go. Change."

Angela stepped back and folded her arms over her chest. "I could put on a jacket or something, but if I change we're going to be late, Shawn."

Three more steps forward and he was directly in front of her, his hands reaching out to grab her by the arm and drag her to the room. He yanked her through the halls, Angela struggling not to fall in her heels. Shawn pushed open the bedroom door and threw her down on the bed. "Angela, I don't care how late we are. You're not leaving the house with that damn dress on, so _change it_." He snarled.

By now she was trembling and tears trekked down her cheeks, hitting the bedspread that she sat on. The place where his nails dug into her skin was already bleeding. She stood on two shaky legs and slid off her dress, the fabric like a dark puddle lay at her feet. Shawn watched her with the eyes of a hawk, leaving her well intimidated.

She attempted to walk to the closet, but Shawn grabbed her around the waist and brought her body to his, her back against his chest. "Don't be mad at me, Angela." She felt his warm lips kiss the nape of her neck and trail up to her ear. "I'm only protective because I love you." Obsessive, Caring, Abusive, Loving; Angela would have never thought she'd be with a man who was all of those things, the bad and the good, the horrible, and she didn't think it would be Shawn.

Angela pulled away, but he quickly grabbed her back. "Don't. Don't walk away from me."

"I'm not, Shawn, I was just going to change." Reluctantly, he let her go and she continued on to the closet, grabbing a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt.

"I'm ready." Shawn nodded and took her hand in his before leading them through the hall and out the front door.

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

The ride over was silent, only accompanied by the low classical music playing on the radio. The traffic was, well, the typical New York traffic at nighttime. The city lights lit up the streets as well as the oversized screens and light up advertisements.

The restaurant wasn't far from where they lived, maybe ten minutes away. It wasn't anything fancy, just an over-decorated placed called Nancy's Bar & Grill. They pulled up into the parking lot, killing the engine before unbuckling their seatbelts and opening the door, but before Angela could exit the vehicle, Shawn called out to her.

He skimmed a finger lightly over her arm, and that all too familiar feeling of butterflies fluttered around in her stomach. "Remember, don't say anything to them about…"

Angela nodded vigorously, eager to see her best friend and be in the presence of someone other than Shawn, alone. "I remember."

"Good." Shawn leaned forward and brought her face to his, kissing his wife passionately, his tongue dancing slowly with hers. Angela pulled away and stepped out of the car, walking to the door and waiting for Shawn to follow her lead.

-------------

The restaurant was loud with men cheering on a Giants game at the bar in the center of the room and toned down rock music playing on the speakers built into the ceiling. Playful banter passed between college students at the table across from the one that Angela and Shawn spotted Cory and Topanga seated at.

The restaurant smelled to high heaven of alcohol and fried food. The couple sauntered past skimpy clothed barmaids and dancing couples before making it to the table.

Cory and Topanga were laughing over something the people at the table across from them were saying. The conversation ceased between them when the two stopped at the table and waited to be acknowledged.

"Angela!" Topanga said, always excited to see her best friend, even after they'd seen each other just the other night. They squealed and hugged each other tightly, Angela glad to be in the one person's arms that she considered a safe harbor.

Cory stood up and gave a manly shake-hug to Shawn. "Shawnie, my man! How's it going?"

The college students at the other table were back to their own conversation, except one. The fourth guy at the edge of the table with a surfer cut and an Abercrombie look checked out the wives men sitting at the table just across from them, but the dark-skinned beauty had caught his attention. He watched as she interacted with the pretty blond who came with the curly-haired guy. He also noticed the arm placed possessively around her shoulder by the dark-haired, blue-eyed man sitting beside her, talking to the man across from him.

A waitress came by not too much later, standing in front of the table and temporarily blocking his view of the beautiful lady that he just couldn't tear his eyes off of.

About ten minutes into the dinner, Angela had noticed the guy from the other table staring at her. Unfortunately, so did Shawn. She could see in the set of his jaw and the way his fingernails were almost digging into her shoulder that he was pissed off. Cory and Topanga seemed oblivious to the tension between the two couples, but even if they had noticed, they made no comment about it.

One of the college students from the other table commented about the football game, and Cory readily jumped into the conversation eagerly talking about scores and players on the team. Topanga rolled her eyes and tried to coerce Cory back to the conversation at our table, but that ceased to exist.

Meanwhile, the waitress stopped at the college boys' table and asked if they needed anything else. The Abercrombie boy said something and gestured to Angela, and the waitress smiled and walked away stating that she would be back.

About five minutes later, the waitress returned with a tall glass of beer and handed it directly to Angela. Confused, she looked up to the woman. "I'm sorry, I didn't ask for this."

The brunette waitress smiled and thrusts her thumb over her shoulder, pointing to the guy who was staring before. "Oh no, that's from him, it's not on your tab." Shawn stopped breathing all together and Angela blushed, looking over to the guy, who winked and gestured to the drink.

She leaned over Shawn. "Thank you."

"No problem, cutie." The man said, which Shawn wasn't too happy about. Angela was just about to sip her drink when he turned to the waitress and spoke.

"She doesn't want it." He bluntly stated, his face red with anger. Angela frowned and scooted away from his hand, which fell limply between the two. Cory and Topanga stared curiously at the couple; their eyes darting back and forth like a ping-pong match.

She took the drink and brought it to her mouth, gulping it down halfway. "Yes, I do." She knew she made a mistake when she spied his hand twitch just the slightest bit, and she knew she was in for it. She began to prepare herself for the rough night ahead.

She looked past Shawn to see the man at the other table smiling at her, impressed by the show of courage she had put on, but inside, she was cowering like an abused animal, and that was exactly what he made her feel like.

Soon, the college boys were getting up to leave, but not before the Abercrombie boy boldly reached over and gave her a piece of napkin with his number scrawled over it.

When he'd pulled back, Shawn stood up and faced the younger guy. "Excuse me, but could you not flirt with my wife right in front of my face?"

The man put his hands up defensively and smiled coyly. "Hey, I'm just doing the beautiful lady a favor."

"Yeah, well that beautiful lady doesn't need any of your favors." Shawn spat, tired of this guy, wondering who gave him the right to flirt with someone's wife.

One of his friends trudged up and laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Liam, let's just go, don't worry about him, dude." He shrugged him off and continued to stare Shawn down.

Shawn wasn't going to give in to the college student. Angela was his and he'd kick anyone's ass that questioned it, or tried to intervene in their relationship. Angela came up beside Shawn and lightly touched his arm.

"Shawn, honey, let's just go okay. Please."

"So what, Angela, are you okay with this? He knew you were with me and you just let him flirt with you like that?"

"No Shawn, I didn't, just-,"

Shawn turned to her fully, thinking that she was defending Liam. "No, you were flirting back! Stop acting like such a-,"

Liam pushed Shawn back before he could finish his sentence. "Don't talk to her like that, what the hell is wrong with you."

Shawn shoved Liam, causing him to fall into the table, cracking dishes and glasses falling to the floor. "DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO TALK TO MY WIFE!"

Liam recovered and threw a fist that hit Shawn square in the jaw. He stumbled back a few steps and slung himself forward, aimlessly shoving his fist into the other man's face.

Cory pulled away from Topanga to break up the struggling men and shoved them both on the opposite sides of him. "Will you guys just stop it, you're acting like animals." Topanga nodded and walked over to a weeping Angela, hugging her and whispering soothing words to calm her down.

Shawn snatched his arm away from Cory's grip and stomped over to Angela, peeling her away from the blond woman hugging her tightly. "C'mon Angela, we're leaving." He dragged her out the door and to the parking lot.

He opened her door for her and brusquely walked to his side. Once into the car, he revved the engine and sped off before Angela even got her seatbelt on.

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

The ride back home wasn't filled with violin notes, but instead a brooding silence that hung heavy in the air, so much that it was hard to breathe, much less think.

Angela was dreading to go back home, because she knew what would await her when she got back, and this would be worse then what she had the last few days. She would get no mercy.

It wasn't long before they were pulling into the driveway; the house loomed ominously in the shadow of night. Shawn took a deep breath and quickly pulled the key out of the ignition and stepped out of the car, the door slamming harshly behind him. In no time at all, he'd pulled Angela out of the car and shut the door, before walking up to the house. His haste to unlock the door only installed even more fear inside of Angela, so afraid of what would happen next.

She got her answer when he opened the door and shoved her inside. The door slammed shut beside him and his face was a mask of fury, making his heart pound and his eyes see red. Angela walked quickly through the halls, away from Shawn, who she knew was following her.

"Angela…Angela! Come here!" He called out, but Angela didn't listen as she turned into her room and shut the door, but that didn't help much as he slammed the door open and made his way for her. She ran for the bathroom, but he was there in the blink of an eye, grabbing her by her hair and slamming her to the ground.

She screamed out in pain, but he kicked her in the ribs in response. "Don't fucking walk away when I'm calling you, d'you hear me!" By now she was crying hysterically, mascara and tears leaking down her face, and even a little blood where her lip had split.

He picked her up and threw her on the bed, staring down at her figure, huddled in the fetal position and holding her sides. Shawn pushed her on her back and punched her across the face, paying no mind to the blood that spit out of her mouth. "How could you fucking disrespect me like that, Angela. How could you stick up for that jerk and not your own husband?"

Angela's sobs wracked her body and the blood on her lips turned colder with every shaky breath she exhaled. "Huh?" Shawn yelled. He grabbed Angela by her braids and pulled her bruised face up to his. "Answer me!"

"Shawn, please stop!" She pleaded, but that went ignored as he slapped her again…and again, taking out all his frustration on her face, all the hate for the world and all the love that he wished she would just comply like he wanted her to. Her cries hurt his ears, but he just couldn't stop himself from causing her as much pain as he felt she caused him emotionally.

Every time she even looked at another guy, he couldn't help the jealousy that overruled within him. Every damn time he'd see her beautiful face, he couldn't help but want to scar it, hoping that every other man wouldn't want her, that she would be just his. And she was, and he would keep it that way. His love. His joy. His pride. _His_.

Angela was shaking hysterically, crying and bleeding everywhere when he was through with her. She'd closed within herself, shattered pieces of her scattered around. Shawn looked down at her battered face and felt the guilt filter in, because he'd hurt the only woman he'd ever loved again, and he knew that it wouldn't be the last time.

"Angela…" He whispered, his voice cracking and filled with so much sadness and regret. He slapped the mattress underneath her and held in a cry of utter despair as he heard her whimper.

He got up and walked to the bathroom, turning on the light and going to the tub. He turned the hot water knob, and the cold water knob just a tiny bit so the water wouldn't be too hot, but before he pulled his hand back, he noticed the blood on his knuckles, Angela's blood. And then he cried, bawled like a baby, because of what he'd done and what he continued to do. Shawn had the strong urge to drown himself, but he wouldn't, because if he died, then he wouldn't be able to see Angela, he would go straight to hell for the pain he caused such an angel.

His shoulders shook as he held his head in his hands, the tears pouring through his fingertips and onto the tiled floor. He cried for the heart he was breaking, the woman crying in the other room because of the brutal beatings she received over and over from the one that she loved. He cried because every time her beat her, he died a little inside.

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

Shawn carried his beloved wife to the bathroom and undressed her carefully before setting her into the tub.

The streams descending from her eyes seemed endless, and every time Shawn touched her, she would shiver and shrink away from him, afraid that he would hit her. He touched her tentatively through the water with a soapy bathing cloth and tender fingers.

Angela was scared shitless by the man she called a husband. He was so unpredictable, and that's what scared her more than anything. Shawn had never bathed her before, and he'd never beat her like that before either, it was like he was taking everything out on her. But then the next minute, he was bathing her and whispering soothing words, crying, every now and then saying how sorry he was.

She was slightly disappointed when he'd finished bathing her, but he picked her up out the water and carried her to the bed, wet and all. She shivered as the cool air hit her body and goose pimples popped out over the skin on her arms.

Shawn pulled off his shirt and pants before sliding in next to her, wrapping his arms around her torso and sighing deeply as she flinched back away from him. "Angela, please…don't be afraid of me."

"How can I not, Shawn, huh?" Angela didn't look at him, but instead, closed her eyes to shut out the pain.

Shawn sat up and looked down at his wife, and ran a hand through his hair. "You don't understand Angela, okay. You don't love me like I love you, and you don't know what would happen if you left me or if something were to happen to you-,"

"Something is happening to me, Shawn! You're beating me, and I should've left you a long time ago if I knew that's what I had in store for me for the rest or my life!" That was the first time Angela had spoken how she really felt in a long time, and she was afraid of his reaction.

Shawn's face twisted into one of desperation at what she said. "Angela, if you leave me, I'll have no one else. I love you too much to let you go, and I…I just can't deal with the thought of you leaving me or with another man, I just can't." Shawn brought a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes, trying to dispel any image of Angela with anyone else but him.

He ran a hand over his face and through his hair before he leaned down and swept Angela up in his arms. Shawn kissed her with a fury that left her breathless and wary of him altogether. She wasn't ready to forgive him for what he's done and she wasn't sure that she would ever be. Angela didn't return the kiss.

XoxoXoxoXoxoX

Shawn made love to her that night, even though she was in so much pain; she endured like she did everything else.

He whispered words of affection in her ear and kissed her with as much love as he felt. Neither knew, but that night they conceived a child, one that would hopefully make things different between the two, one that would stop the beatings for Angela and thoughts that she would leave for Shawn.

He really did love her, but to her, it should not have been an excuse. That night as he hugged her close to him as if she would leave while he was asleep, he kissed her deeply one last time and whispered a last sentence before she faded into sleep.

"I only do it because I love you."

And she endured, but only because she loved him.


End file.
